The Weighting Game

Want to lose weight? Forget bikini body diets in those rubbish glossy mags, the sharp shock you need is to research how to put on weight, the advice is out there for all those skinny bitches who need some meat on their bones. This is what I found:

* Take care not to be too active. If you’re always on your feet, make time to relax each day

* Add 500 calories to your intake every day. A big bar of chocolate or a thick milkshake should do the trick

* Drink sodas or fruit juice – they are loaded with extra calories and you won’t feel full

* Add more weights to your fitness routine

* Use oil and butter – pure fat

* Snack all day, cream cheese on crackers, peanut butter on a bagel is effective

* Drink full fat milk, a big glass is loaded

* Eat three meals a day, don’t skip. Increase portion size and go for ‘seconds’

* Eat pudding

Now if that doesn’t keep your hand out of the cookie jar then frig knows what will.

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